hyggeligt.

As I struggle to concisely define my feelings at this moment, I realize hyggeligt-- the Danish word for "cozy," is exactly what I'm fishing for. However, it doesn't translate simply as 'cozy' does in English. It is associated not simply with a momentary feeling of warm snugness, but with a more meaningful sense of well-being, comfort, familiarity.

This sense of comfort and well-being is something I appreciate so much, because once the OMG I'm in another country!!! thing wore off, I felt like a little fish in a HUGE ocean. Four months seemed like a longer and longer time as I was greeted each morning by yet another cold, grey Scandinavian sky. And being abroad is completely different from your expectations of what it will be, no matter what your expectations. For me, I guess I was expecting to have my boarding pass checked, get on the plane and someone would say oh hello! Here's the person you've always wanted to be. This kind European flight attendant would hand me a plate with all these wonderful qualities. Self sufficiency, courage, sense of purpose, practicality, the works. And all just from buying a plane ticket. It was going to be so great! But strong power of will and sense of independence are qualities that do not present themselves to you on a whim. Courage does not make itself known until you are tested. As each day goes by, I realize there are life lessons hidden in the sneakiest places. And I realize that this is not a quest to "find" myself. It is a quest to embrace myself.

Though this weekend was not one filled with Harry Potter-esque tests of courage, it felt cozy, and I think this is just as important. I keep getting little bursts of feelings like, "Okay. I was thrown into this massive choppy ocean, but check it out. I'm swimming, and the water is getting warm." Maybe someone is peeing, I don't know. Wherever this warm current is coming from, I like it.

I realize my transitions could use some work, but on from someone possibly peeing into my ocean to the handball match I went to on Saturday. My host brother Lennart turns ten on Tuesday, so we have been semi-celebrating his birthday for a while. We saw two of the top Danish teams play against one another. Handball is an intense game, the players are always getting knocked, pushed, shoved around and they are always smashing to the ground. My face watching handball is sort of stuck in an eternal wince.

what a goof.

Today was his party, and it was very hyggeligt indeed. The preparations felt something like home. The smoke detector went off twice as Lennart and I were playing wii futball (soccer), and I could hear Anne Marie's usually calm voice a little bit more high pitched than usual. When Jan walked up to the smoke detector and finally took out the battery, he said, "ahh, Anne Marie. Slapper af." (pronounced slappa aye.) Which thanks to my extensive danish vocabulary knowledge, means, "relax." So, cool. Everyone freaks out a little when company comes over.

Wait, which country am I in again? 

 

And as the semi-fail snickerdoodle cookies I'd made sat on the table next to the traditional Odense-area birthday cake Anne Marie had made, I couldn't help but proudly feel like a part of it all.

One thing I loved about this birthday party was the courses. Course one: hot cocoa and a homemade bun. Course two: hot cocoa and cake. Course three: hot cocoa, tea, or coffee and more cake or a cookie.

Break for call of duty with Lennart, his cousin, and the older next door neighbor girl who has been playing handball for seven years (!) and Anne Marie says is "this close" to getting onto a national team.

Course three: Optionally more cake.

Another break to go outside, run around and play futball at the park with the call of duty crew. I was on the winning team! Who saw that coming.  And then once it got to the point where you can no longer control the fluids running out of your nose because you're just too damn cold, we went back inside. Insert lots of funny comments from Lennart and co. here and there, and lots of Danish people making fun of how terrible I am at wii sports and racing games.

So hyggeligt.